8:53pm 4/30/15

I really wish I knew someone like me.

8:32pm 4/26/15

He has to genuinely be interested in pondering the world with me.

12:34am hehe 4/26/15

So excited to sleep in, I had to write about it. Had to long in too.

12:48pm 4/22/15

Ive been waking up so many times during the night, looking at my phone and being confused about the time. Then realizing that I dont have to be up yet and thinking how its amazing/crazy that I have more time to sleep. Its strange. I hope it stops.

10:10am 4/22/15

I don't understand (but i do), why some people even after they've made their choices and have gone on living life and have everything,or at least have enough and have themselves, would still want someone who has done nothing but good and brought positivity into their lives, to still be hung up on them. If you claim to love or even care about someone , don't you want the best for them even when its not you, especially when it is not you by your own choice? Why would you want them pining after you, still living a life that revolves around you? If you care about someone but you know you cant or just wont follow through with actions that promote their well being and mental state wouldn't you want them to find who or what can? I have been in this situation and although I loved the person as a human, I knew I was not in love. Although, it was nice to have someone consistently caring for me and wanting to be together, I knew that they deserved better, so I let them go, because I knew they were deserving of someone who would reciprocate the kind of love that they desired. Isn't that what you do for someone that you care about? But I do understand that is not what selfish people do. People who know they've had something special but had and have no intentions of ever taking care of it. People whose world solely revolves around themselves. They will create a whole life outside of you and then still try to take yours. Some people want to use you up and leave you with nothing. They'll even allow you to lose yourself if you let them.

9pm 4/21/15

I've learned to always keep living.

7:46pm 4/21/15

http://genius.com/Fka-twigs-papi-pacify-lyrics

8:49am 4/20/15

I dont like to say a certain thing wont happen, i think life likes to be ironic.

1:17pm 4/19/15

It will be so adorable when Leah and I have a baby together.

2:09am 4/19/15

He won't make love to me now Not now, I've set the fee He said it's too much in pounds I guess I'm stuck with me He told me I was so small I told him "Water me"

1:54am 4/19/15

Never tell me no, http://youtu.be/OydK91JjFOw

10:18pm 4/17/15

I have no plans on life.

9:12am 4/17/15

Yesterday I told someone, "Everyone's gonna fuck up, so just be with the person you love the most" I need to figure out which part of me believes this, as I wouldn't have said it had I not meant it.

4am 4/17/15

.

3:38pm 4/15/15

I don't understand why I would give up my fathers last name to take another mans name when my father is the best man I will ever know...

1:59pm 4/15/15

The type of friendship Leah and I have is legimately priceless. I don't think many people get to experience such a pure relationship where mental and physical health is consistently promoted and supported. We cuddle, we laugh, we talk, we share. All the good things all the bad things, no judgement. She is my relationship standard.

3:31am 4/15/15

Rocket is the song for my husband if I ever have one.

11:29pm 4/13/15

my soul is probably prettier than me.

7:45am 4/13/15

Sometimes it's as simple as how perfectly you fit together in your sleep. Unfortunately, I'm talking about my dog.

8:24pm 4/12/15

I get so many amazing naked selfie ideas from Instagram, smh. #inspiration

4:00pm 4/12/15

When I have my family, every year, for each birthday, MIM's and my husbands I'm going to make Oreo cookie pancakes for breakfast.

7:26pm 4/9/15

I realize all money is money, but the money I make from jewelry is just so much better.

12:36pm 4/9/15

"Half on a Baby" was playing in my dream last night -_-

7:03pm 4/8/15

I am even shocked I felt that was worth a blog post.

7:02pm 4/8/15

o well.

11:05pm 4/6/15

When I watch Friends it makes me not want to settle. I don't know if that makes any sense but it's like they all go through times where they're in the wrong situation, whether its work - Rachel working as waitress in the coffee shop - Joey's acting "career" until it actually was a career - Monica's catering company - Pheobe's musical pursuits or relationship - Richard and Monica - Chandler and Janice - Pheobe and David - Pheobe and Mike - Ross and Carole - Ross and Emily - Rachel and Paolo - Ross and Rachel It even lasts for extended periods of time (in TV time), but they just keep going and living and experiencing and in the end they get what they want. Even if its not initially what they thought they wanted. They all end up in the situation that's right for them ... and yes I realize it's television but I also realize I'm allowed to be inspired by any and everything, real and/or make believe. and I guess I am in a space where I need to be reminded to keep living. To keep going. To keep experiencing. To not settle. Life is always evolving.